If I Gave a Cat Up Can I Ever Get a Cat Again

Getting a new cat tin sometimes feel wrong after losing another. Is it possible to work through the grief and acquire to love again?

Every bit cat owners, words cannot draw how distressing it is when a dear cat passes away. Although grief is a completely natural reaction to loss, sometimes the hurting tin can brand us fearful of e'er loving a cat again. The heartache can seem so overwhelming and the devotion to our cat's memory so potent, that people are sometimes faced with feelings of fear or disloyalty if they consider getting a new cat.

In order to empathise where these conflicting feelings may be coming from, it is important to take how intense grief can be. When a cat passes abroad, owners can go through the same grieving procedure as they would for any other family member. Only pet-related grief is nonetheless non widely recognised in society, and we are often expected to 'merely get on with information technology'.

Sadder all the same, owners are sometimes faced with having to brand a decision about when it is best to let their cats go, and that in itself tin feel an unfair responsibility. Similarly, death tin can occur all of a sudden as a result of tragic circumstances. Is it therefore any wonder that we may take problem processing our bereavement?

How can I deal with the grief of losing my cat?

Cathy Payne, from Devon, lost her six-year-former tortie, Rosie, in a road accident. "I call back the last time I saw her," explains Cathy. "I was playing with my son when she trotted by and miaowed to get out. I opened the window every bit I had many times before; she sat there for a moment looking back at us, and then hopped off as usual to have an hazard.

"The next morning, the phone rang and I could hear my hubby asking 'Is she expressionless?' My blood ran common cold as I rushed downstairs. He said simply, 'Information technology's Rosie, she's been hit by a car'. The following days were devastating. Not but did I have to bear on with piece of work, but I had to explain to my 3-year-onetime girl why Mummy and Daddy were crying, and why Rosie wasn't coming habitation for her breakfast."

A logical reaction to such hurting is to avoid whatever caused this hurt in the kickoff identify, and sadly for Cathy, and for many other cat lovers, the idea of going through the grief once again is just too much, even if years of honey came before.

Iii years later losing Rosie, Cathy said: "Three years on, and we are still lamentable near losing Rosie in such a devastating manner, and we will never get another cat. If the same thing happened again, I wouldn't forgive myself."

Interestingly, Cathy then went on to take ii Labradors. "I don't worry virtually the dogs every bit they are walked on the lead, just I dread the day they will naturally die. Losing Rosie has reminded usa to treasure every day with them."

But what if we desperately miss having a cat in our lives, yet feel as if nosotros are disloyal if we look for another one?

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Don't feel guilty if you lot exercise get another cat

Daniel Bribe, from London, recalls this dilemma when he and his girlfriend of a sudden lost their eight-year-former true cat, Ragamuffin, to cancer.

"Ragamuffin'south death shocked u.s.a. and nosotros were left completely heartbroken," Daniel explains. "Our home felt empty without a cat, but, whenever we considered getting a new cat, we felt equally if we were replacing her.

"We somewhen went to our local rehoming shelter and asked to see the cat who had been at that place the longest. Past bringing domicile a really deserving cat, nosotros somehow felt that we could justify the conclusion. We came home with Toby, a blackness and white moggy, who had been waiting for a home for over a twelvemonth."

Of class, this suggests that it is not just u.s.a. who may miss out on cat ownership equally a consequence of grief, but too cats themselves. Celia Hammond, founder of the Celia Hammond Brute Trust which rescues and rehomes thousands of cats every year, believes that pet bereavement can negatively bear upon the charge per unit of rehoming.

"We experience grief-associated guilt from prospective owners all the time. Someone may come up in with proficient intentions of homing a cat, merely it can apace become too much and they'll cease upwardly in tears over how they can't accept another ane," explains Celia. "Nosotros could fill our shelters vi times over with rescued cats. Nosotros're then overcrowded; we merely cannot keep up with the slow rate of rehoming."

Possibly our focus, therefore, should be on using our ingrained dearest for cats for further good, and view owning a new cat equally an opportunity to provide a loving habitation. Celia agrees, and explains how guilt, although natural, is non necessary: "Never feel guilty. I e'er say that owning again is the biggest compliment that y'all could always pay your cat."

Choosing another cat

Withal, what sort of cat should nosotros bring dwelling house? Should we try to observe one that reminds us of our old friend?

"Go for 1 completely dissimilar," Celia recommends. "Otherwise, the similarity will never match upwardly."

Daniel too agreed with this sentiment: "I'd be lying if I said that it didn't experience strange when we first brought Toby home. He'due south and then different to Ragamuffin that he nearly seemed like an intruder! But, two months on, nosotros now utterly love Toby for the individual cat that he is."

So how has Daniel learnt to honey a new true cat and preserve Ragamuffin's memory? "Toby has go then warm and affectionate, and information technology may sound silly, just he just seems really grateful to have a habitation! I call back that Ragamuffin would approve."

Words by Claire Newton-Bribe.

Is your true cat also grieving?

Does your cat seem down after the expiry of another pet? He could as well be grieving their loss.

Information technology is frequently mistakenly causeless that considering of cats' more independent personalities and solitary nature they practise not feel grief following the loss of other cats in the household. Suddenly becoming the only cat will involve an adjustment process for your true cat. The grief process is exactly this - an adjustment to loss. Your true cat may be withal be searching for his feline friend and need more than time to adjust to him not being around.

Firstly, seeking veterinary advice is of import to make sure that there is no underlying physiological reason for any change in your cat'south personality. It may be helpful to minimise change in your cat's environment every bit much as possible for the curt-term to reduce stress and anxiety.

If your cat's ambition has lessened, attempt warming his food or adding some not-salty gravy, although it'southward wise to avoid radical changes in nutrition. Encourage play as much as possible, and try to spend more time grooming and stroking him.

Getting another feline companion directly away isn't advised, every bit your cat is in a transitional state of flux and needs, for now, needs to take some sense of continuity. Notwithstanding, with the passage of time you and he may be fix to integrate a new feline family fellow member.

Communication given by pet bereavement counsellor Sue Dawson.

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Source: https://www.yourcat.co.uk/cat-advice/is-it-possible-to-love-a-cat-again-after-losing-one/

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